The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's shark week go big or go home
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize