the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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