My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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