Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We had to coat check the pizza.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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