Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
