Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just so you know, I have a bf.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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(509): View more from Washington

I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.

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(613): View more from Ontario

it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole

(1-613): View more from Ontario

im not talking about this

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(954): View more from Florida

Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

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(706): View more from Georgia

It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.

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