currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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