I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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