if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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