If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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