she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
