Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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