It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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