things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
