Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
