Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just googled if crying burns calories
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
