Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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