if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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