Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I deserve this hangover.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
