one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
