no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
