This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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