I want to make a zoo with you.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
