last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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