i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
