my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
