I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
