a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Randomize
