im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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