I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
