Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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