omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize