New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
