I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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