She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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