Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
