I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well I just put wine in my tea
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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