We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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