somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
