I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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