everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
