So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We left the knife in your bed.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
