u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
even my farts smell like vagina
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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