i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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