I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The adults are the big ones right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
