considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
