I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
