Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need water and some morals
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize