I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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