I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
