Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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