Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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