i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
