but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
They took my balls.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dicks are not precious.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
