My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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