smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
