): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
