when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
